


Out of the Woods

by FlapperGirl



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 00:52:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8946571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlapperGirl/pseuds/FlapperGirl
Summary: Grace has been with the group since Atlanta, they have been a family since then, but things change after the Governor's attack on the prison. She suddenly finds herself wounded, weak and alone, until the leader of The Saviors finds her and takes her to the Sanctuary.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! Thank you for reading (: I will post this first chapter and if you like it I will keep updating, so please leave a comment with your opinion! I hope you enjoy!

The place I had come to call home fell down to ashes as the Governor's people shot at us. Hershel's blood poured wildly from his neck, where the mad man had struck him with Michonne's blade, it streamed down and stained his yellow shirt. He was most likely dead by now.  
The sound of bullets leaving the barrel of guns and hand grenades exploding was deafening, but the worst part was the smokey gray color of the burning bodies, I could smell how they became nothing and how the wind brought small pieces of them to my hair. I stood at the center of the yard, staring at the faces of my friends who had fallen to the ground with bullet holes in their bodies. I was so out of my mind, almost like I was a ghost whose body was lying on the ground and burning with everyone else, that I didn’t remember that after death comes life again. The undamaged brains of the dead started to wake, the corpses began to rise, following the sound of my sobbing. When my eyes caught sight of the resurrection around me, I ran away.

I spotted Rick and Carl sprinting away, but as I was about to start running in their direction, one of the Governor's men threw a grenade that landed a few feet away from me, I dropped to the ground and covered my head with my hands; I heard it going off, sending destruction down its path. My ears were ringing under the sound of people's cries; I pushed myself up and narrowed my eyes for there was too much dust floating in the air. I lifted my gaze to look for Rick and Carl, but they were gone.  
Through the cloud of dust, I saw that Daryl and Beth were closer to me, so I bid my legs to head towards them. I wanted to call for them, scream for them to wait for me, but the dust from the earlier explosion was still tickling my throat, so only low, wordless noises left my lips.  
"This was supposed to be ours!", an angry voice yelled behind me. I turned around to find a man staring at the crumbling prison with furious eyes, I assumed he was one of the Governor's people. His face started to slowly turn towards me, I took a few steps backwards when his raging stare locked on mine. The man raised his gun and, with a steady hand, pointed it at me. "You motherfuckers! This is your fault!"

I ran as fast as my feet allowed me, clumsily stumbling on rocks and guns and bodies on the ground. I jumped when I heard a bullet crashing against the concrete beside my left foot; the man shot his gun again and this time it landed on the chest of a walker at my right. My heart was racing and adrenaline was flooding over me. The next bullet landed on my right thigh, making me fall to my knees. I grunted loudly and pressed the palm of my hand tightly against the wound. The adrenaline in my body forced me to get on my feet and keep going, my right leg was having trouble holding my weight but I couldn't stop.  
I entered the woods and made my way through the trees, ignoring the small gashes that the branches made in my arms. I came to a stop when I heard no more gunshots behind me. My chest heaved violently as I tried to recover my breath, I leaned on a tree and closed my eyes. A couple of tears rolled down my scarlet cheeks when I thought of my friends, my family; I had no idea where they had gone for we all sprinted in plenty different directions. I wiped the wet trail off my face, accidentally staining it with the blood I had on my hands, and threw myself to the ground. I pressed my back against the trunk of a tree as I tried to get some rest; but every time I closed my eyes, I could see the Governor slicing Hershel's head, playing over and over in my head, and how that moment had unleashed a war that ended in death and destruction and loneliness.  
As the hours went by and night fell upon me, my breathing was the only sound I could hear, reminding me that I was truly alone.

Two days went by and I had no food or water, my tongue ran down my dry mouth, trying to look for the slightest hint of moistness, but there was none. The sharp pain on my thigh got worst with each passing day, and the smell under my blood-soaked jeans was terrible as well, so I figured that if I stayed put, that would be the death of me.  
I wandered down the woods, leaning on trees for support and trying to keep most of my weight on my healthy leg.  
With every step I took, the hope that I would find my group, or anyone at all, quavered. I was never the strongest or sharpest one, I couldn't survive on my own like Carol or Michonne or Maggie, so my death seemed closer every minute.  
My feet slammed heavily against the ground, leading me aimlessly through the forest under the sunset. At this point, I had lost all hope of finding any of my people, I don't know what kept me going, perhaps I was only waiting for a miracle to happen, but it felt more like I was losing my mind.  
I couldn't keep walking anymore, the pain on my thigh knocked me down and I fell to the ground on my knees. My sight went blurry and I fell flat on my stomach over the autumn leaves that had detached from the trees. My eyes involuntarily closed and I felt the beating of my heart dangerously slowing down.

When I woke up, I was inside a white room. I slowly let my eyes wander around the place, it looked like an infirmary; there was medical equipment around and I was laying on a hospital bed. I frowned and sat up.  
"Ah, you're awake", a gentle voice said. I turned my head around quickly, almost as a reflex, to find the source of the voice. I found a man who seemed to be in his late fifties, he was wearing a white coat over his shoulders and a smile on his face.  
"Who are you?", I asked with a hint of distrust as he inspected my appearance.  
"I'm doctor Carson", he answered and directed his attention towards my right thigh. "Yeah, it's definitely getting better."  
I remembered the gunshots and how that bullet had pierced my thigh, I cringed at that memory. When I lowered my gaze, I noticed someone had cut through my jeans, probably the doctor, exposing my thigh. The bullet hole wasn't there anymore, a few stitches were holding the two ends of my parted skin together. I inspected it carefully with my fingertips, it didn't hurt anymore; my mouth open slightly in a surprised expression, how long had I been there?  
I removed my fingers from the sutures and proceeded to ask the question that was burning my tongue.  
"Where am I?", I locked my eyes on his, trying to speak my question firmly. He half smiled and tucked his hands inside the pockets of his coat.  
"You're at the Sanctuary."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Here's chapter two, I really hope you enjoy it! Please let me know what you think! Thank you for reading (:

"The Sanctuary?", I scowled and the doctor only nodded at me. "What is it? Like a... a community?"  
"Yes, I suppose that's a word for it", he said with a little laugh. Somehow, a glimmer of hope lit up my lost faith; if there was a community that took people in, there was a possibility that my friends were there as well. I shuffled excitedly in the bed, trying to climb down, but the doctor rushed to keep me in place.  
"Careful now", his expression was a little more serious. "You have stitches."  
I stopped moving, almost shivering at the thought of getting the stitches all over again; instead, I watched how he settled my leg on the bed and examined the sutures.

"That was a nasty wound, right there", he raised his eyebrows and grimaced, I figured he was remembering how it looked, I remembered it too, and it wasn't a pretty picture. "You should be thankful that Negan found you, that would've gotten terribly infected."  
I listened to his words intently, most of what he said I already assumed, but one thing was completely unknown for me.   
"Negan?", I asked with a frown on my face. The doctor chuckled and shook his head, he turned back to me with a smile.  
"You'll meet him soon enough", he responded. "He said he would come by and check on you."  
I nodded, but another question was puzzling my mind.  
"How long have I been here?", I asked him.   
"Three days", his answer made my eyes go wide.   
"Three days? And I just woke up?", I pulled my brows together in a frown and he laughed.  
"Yes, you were in deep pain and dehydrated, I don't blame you", he gave me a sympathetic look. I laid back on the bed and looked at the light on the ceiling. I thought about asking him about my friends, but I remembered the Governor; also that time when Glenn had told me that a couple of men got aggressive after finding out we had a farm. People seemed to get greedy when they heard about communities, so I didn't want to talk about that with this stranger, as kind as he seemed.

The silence in the room made me feel calm, I closed my eyes for a moment only to try and remember my friends, but I fell asleep.

I woke up to a loud knock on the door. I opened my eyes abruptly and sat on the bed. The doctor left whatever he was doing at a cabinet filled with meds and walked towards the door. He opened it.   
At the other side there was a tall man, he was wearing a black leather jacket and a red scarf around his neck. He was leaning on the doorframe as a smirk spread across his lips. His face was handsome was his grin flashed his white, insanely white, teeth; yet there was something intimidating about him, even the doctor seemed to become tense at his very presence.   
"Hey, doc", he greeted and walked past the doctor inside the room. I looked at him intently as he strolled down the room.   
"She's awake", the doctor said and the man finally laid his eyes on me. He grinned and sat on the chair next to the bed.  
"Hello there, darling", his voice was gruff, but strangely nice. I settled on the bed and smiled faintly.  
"Hi", my voice came out lower than I had expected. He chuckled and drove his gaze down to my thigh.  
"How's that shit going?", he placed his hand on it and I jumped a little, not because it hurt but because he was touching me. He must have noticed that because he just smacked my skin softly and took his hand away.  
"It's healing well, the stitches should be removed in about four days", the doctor answered for me. The man didn't take his eyes off of me.   
"Thanks, Carson", he said. He looked at me intently, running his gaze down my face. He raised his hand to brush a strand of hair away from my face and kept it between his fingers for a couple of seconds.  
"What's your name, sweetheart?"  
I hesitated, why was he looking at me like that?   
"Grace", I answered with a low voice, he smiled at me.   
"That actually sounds right", he chuckled. He turned around and faced the doctor. "Is she good to go, doc?"  
"She is, but I would highly recommend against running or walking too much"  
The man nodded and turned back to me. He offered me his hand, which I only stared at. He laughed.  
"Come on, darling. I'm not gonna fucking bite you", he leaned closer to me and his voice took a deeper tone. "Unless you're into that kinky shit."  
I shook my head vigorously, he barked out a laugh at it. I finally laid my hand on his palm and as I caught a glimpse of it, I almost gasped. My hand was still covered in my own blood from the wound, it was dry and had taken a darker hue by now.   
He helped me to climb down from the bed and we walked out of the room. I turned back to say goodbye to the doctor, he smiled and waved me off.

As we walked down the halls, people fell to their knees and bowed their heads. I wanted to ask him what was going in, but his face was stern now, much harsher than it was when we were back at the infirmary.   
The aisles we moved through were grey and cold, they reminded me of the prison's halls, but only in appearance because it felt nothing like home.  
We reached a large, gray door and he let me in first after opening it. I stepped in slowly, inspecting the inside with curious eyes.  
"Take a seat, darling", he gestured towards a set of couches that were on the other side of the room. I did as he said and took a seat at an individual chair. He let himself fall on the opposite couch. He stared at me with a pensive look with his elbows resting on his thighs, as if he were trying to figure me out.  
"I'm fucking impressed", he exclaimed with a smile on his face. I frowned for I had no idea what he was talking about. He must have noticed my confused expression because he elaborated. "You were fucking shot, you had no food or water, and you survived on your fucking own!"  
I didn't know how much of that was true nor did I know how long he thought I had spent on the woods after being shot.  
"Were you on your own since the beginning?", he asked. I shook my head almost involuntarily, mentally cursing myself for doing that. "Well, you were fucking alone when we found you."  
"I-I had a group", I stuttered. "But... they left me, after I was shot."  
I lied, I couldn't bring myself to tell him about the prison.   
"Well, what a bunch of fucking assholes", he raised his voice and I swore I saw a hint of anger on his face. I lowered my gaze. "You're safe here now."  
A few seconds went by before he spoke up again.   
"Now, we have a system here. Everyone has jobs, if you do their job well, you get fucking points. Points get you food, get you clothes, get you a fucking roof over your head."  
I tried to process what he was saying, my group never conditioned food or shelter.  
"What's gonna be my job?", I asked with a trembling voice. Back at the prison, they gave me jobs like taking care of Judith or cooking meals for everyone, I was never the kind to go out on runs. He chuckled.  
"You still got those fucking stitches, doc said to avoid hard work, didn't he?"  
"Yes, he did", I agreed sheepishly.   
"How about you take a fucking shower? 'Cause, darling, I'm gonna be honest with you, you fucking stink", his voice was loud but jolly. I felt the heat rising up to my cheeks in embarrassment, I immediately lowered my gaze and nervously placed a strand of hair behind my ear.  
"Bathroom's that way, I'll send someone to give you some fucking clothes", he stood up from the couch and walked out of the room without letting me say a word. He shut the door behind him and I heard keys clinking, he was locking the door from outside. 


	3. Chapter 3

I headed towards the bathroom, I opened the door and noticed that there was soap, shampoo and lotion sitting at the sink top. I turned on the shower and let the water fall over my hand, it was too cold. Whilst I waited for it to get warmer, I looked in the mirror. The sight of myself made my stomach churn; the blood I had splattered on my face was still there, blending in with mud and dirt. My arms were decorated with thin, red cuts lining down my skin, the work of the tree branches. My once light brown hair looked as grey as the sky during a storm, it was tangled and grubby.  
I took my shirt off and noticed there was significantly less meat on my bones, exposing my ribcage; we didn't have many mirrors at the prison, so the image I had of myself was one from long before the world turned to this. I shook my head and took the rest of my clothes off; I stepped into the warm water, feeling how it ran down my body and took the reminder of the past few days with it.  
I whimpered when it touched the wound on my thigh, it wasn't painful but it stung a little. I decided to keep the water as far from it as possible and went on with my shower. The white tiles were stained by the dark colours of the dirt that I washed off, I let some clean water fall to the floor and it pulled them down the drain.  
When I turned off the water, there was a cloud of steam floating on the room; for some reason it made me giggle. I grabbed the red towel that hung on the door and wrapped it around my body; there was no second towel, so the ends of my hair were dripping. I lifted my dirty clothes and held them with my left hand as I used the right one to turn the doorknob.  
"Hey!", the cheerful voice of a woman made me jump and drop my clothes. She was sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at me.  
"Uh, hi", I greeted shyly, picking my clothes up.  
"I'm Amber, Negan told me to bring you some clothes", she said with a giggle. I stood in place. She must have noticed that I didn't feel comfortable going towards her wearing only a towel, because she stood up and headed my way. Amber was wearing a short blue dress and heels, her blonde hair was tied in a loose ponytail, leaving a few strands down to frame her face. She handed me the clothes with a smile.  
"Thanks", I muttered and took what she gave me. I scanned the folded clothing and noticed it was a black dress, and above it rested a set of red lace lingerie. Amber snickered.  
"Sorry about that, it's the only clothes we have. Besides, I doubt Negan would complain about seeing you wearing that", she winked and let a little laugh escape her lips again. I nodded and gave her a faint smile. "I'm gonna leave now, so you can get dressed. I'll see you later..."  
She made a pause as she gestured for me to tell her my name.  
"Oh, I'm Grace", I answered once I got the hint. She nodded and smiled at me again.  
"See you later, Grace", Amber walked away and shut the door behind her, I heard her locking it from outside again. Why did they have to lock it every time?

I let the towel fall to the floor, a shiver ran down my spine when the chill air hit my nude skin. I grabbed the scarlet panties and fidgeted the fabric between my fingers, feeling how soft they were. I slid my legs inside them and pulled them up to my hips. Then I took the bra and put it on, I adjusted the straps on my shoulders and clasped it at my back. It felt a little tight on me, squeezing my breasts together and bringing them almost to my collarbones. I flicked my hair, pulling the strands that had gotten caught under the red straps. Once I had the underwear on, I turned around to pick up the dress that I had left on the bed; I jumped and gasped loudly when I noticed that he was standing at the doorway.  
He laughed and started walking towards me. I nervously dropped to my knees, looking for the towel that I had tossed to the ground with trembling fingers.  
"Sorry, darling", he smirked down at me and handed me the black dress. "I didn't mean to scare you."  
"I-It's alright", I stuttered with a tremulous voice. I stood up and took the dress, I pressed it against my chest on an attempt of covering my body.  
"Put it on and come outside when you're done", he ordered and took a baseball bat from the dresser before walking out of the room.  
I quickly slid inside the black dress and pulled down the hem of it, trying to make it fall over my knees, but it barely covered my wound.  
I turned the doorknob, finding that it wasn't locked as usual. He was leaning against the wall in front of the door, his eyes wandered down my body as I stood before him.  
"That looks fucking good on you, darling", he flashed a cheeky grin at me. I looked down nervously, trying to hide from him the red hue that must have taken over my face. "Come on."  
I followed him through the halls, trying to keep up with his quick pace; his legs were much longer than mine, so of course he was walking way faster than me. As the first time I had walked next to him, I saw people kneeling before him and lowering their gazes. It intrigued me.  
We went down some metallic stairs and once we reached the lower floor, he led me through another hall. He finally came to a stop and I was glad this maze had come to an end. He opened the door and let me go inside first, I walked inside and noticed it was quite different from the first room I had been in. This one was smaller, the colours on the walls were also grey but the twin sized bed was dressed in pink, silky covers. There was a wooden dresser against the wall, it wasn't very big and some of the knobs of the drawers were broken, but it still was more than I had had in a long time.  
"You like it?", his voice made me jump, I hadn't noticed he was standing right behind me.  
"Yes, it's awesome", I giggled as I ran my fingers down the soft cover of the bed.  
"Good, 'cause it's yours", he told me. I turned around and frowned at him, I thought this was supposed to be an incentive to take a job once my leg got better, I didn't think he would just give it to me.  
"But I thought you said you need points to earn a roof over your head", I spoke timidly, which as usual, made him laugh.  
"This one's on me, darling", he said as he tracked the contour of my jaw with his thumb, but he dropped his hand once he noticed a confused look appearing on my face.  
"When was the last time you had something to eat?", he asked suddenly. At the prison, for sure, but that wasn't the answer I wanted to give him; instead, I chose to pretend I didn't remember. "You must be fucking starving, come on."  
We left the room and travelled through the halls again, then we walked down the stairs a couple of floors and we finally reached a floor where I could hear people talking and laughing. But that suddenly stopped when we stepped into a crowded room, everyone became silent and dropped to their knees.  
"As you were!", he ordered and everyone went back to whatever they were doing before we entered.  
This place had several tables lined up and there were baskets with bread on them. Behind each table there were people wearing aprons and flour stains on them. I assumed they were bakers and they earned points by making those loaves of bread for others. In front of each table, there were people lining up, waiting for a piece of bread while another person stood behind each table holding a notebook, they wrote names and points on each page.  
On the other side of the room, there were more tables and people on a line, inspecting the jars and cans of food there, probably choosing what to take. There was also a person keeping track of the points each person was spending.  
"What do you want?", he asked me. I felt a couple of stared falling on me as he spoke to me, I looked down at my fingers as I fidgeted with them.  
"I-I don't know, I'll take anything", I answered. He rubbed his stubbled and eyed the baskets with bread. He took a loaf and lent it to me. I only stared at it, feeling a bit of guilt by taking it so easily when there was a long line and points to pay.  
"Just take it", he said firmly, so I did. Then I followed him to the other side of the room, towards the other tables. This time he didn't ask me what I wanted, he only grabbed a jar of strawberry jam and slammed it on my hand.  
A muffled sound was heard across the room, and it seemed to come from his pants. I looked down and saw him pull a walkie-talkie from his waistband. A voice spoke through it, I couldn't understand what it was saying but he held it close to his ear, so he did. He tucked it inside his pants again.  
"You can eat that and look around, I got some shit to deal with", his face was a little tense as he talked. I nodded and we walked out of the room together. He disappeared down the hallway and I found myself alone. There wasn't much I could do, I didn't know this place.  
I sat by a window at the hall, there was no one around and that made me feel a little more relaxed. I opened the jar of jam and took in its scent, it was sweet and lovely, somehow it gave me a vague memory of home. I split the loaf of bread in two and, with my fingers, I spread some red jam on it. I took a bite as I looked out the window, which was a terrible decision. I saw a large cage with several walkers trapped inside, but there were also living people there, avoiding and fighting the undead. Many questions puzzled my mind at the sight of it, but all I could do was turn around and stare at the concrete ground.  
I finished my lunch and took the other half of bread and the jam inside my hands, I struggled with finding the way back to my room, every grey door at the upper floors looked the same. When I reached my room, I walked inside.  
I left the jar and the bread on the nightstand, next to a lamp, and sat on the bed.  
So that was my life now. I felt fortunate, I would have died out there on my own; but I couldn't help but feel an ache in my chest every time I remembered my friends.  
I didn't want to linger in the misery I felt, so I decided to take my mind away from it for a minute by taking a look around this place.  
I took a bit of the red jam on my forefinger and smeared it on the door, above the doorknob, just to tell it apart from the other grey doors.  
I travelled the halls curiously, wondering what happened behind every closed door. As I walked around, I noticed most people didn't even look at me, which was great because I wasn't feeling too comfortable with the short dress I had been wearing; but the rest of the people I passed by would give me judgemental looks. I scowled at that, why would they look at me that way if we didn't even know each other?  
A man stopped before me, I stepped aside to let him keep walking forward but he moved to block my way again. He wasn't much taller than me, but his dark stare was falling heavily on me.  
"So you're his new wife?", he asked harshly. "One more of his bitches?"  
I raised my eyebrows at his words. "Wife?"  
He noticed I had no idea what he was talking about, so he only uttered a bitter laugh.  
"You're not one of his wives, yet you get shit for free?", any trace of amusement disappeared from his face. "You must be sucking a lot of dick."  
I scoffed and resisted the urge to leave a slap mark on his cheek. I took a deep breath and swallowed my pride, I tried to walk past him but he moved in front of me again and grabbed my waist, pulling me closer to him.  
"Maybe you're just a whore", he whispered in my ear. I pushed him away, which made him get angrier. He slapped me and my skin burned with blistering pain, I covered my cheek with my hands and he hit me again on the other side of my face, so hard that my ears were ringing. In spite of it, I could hear people whispering around us. He pushed me against a wall and yelled at my face; drops of spit hit my face as he pronounced his words furiously.  
I stopped feeling his hot breath on my face as someone pulled him off of me.  
"What are you doing, asshole?", another man threw him to the ground and laid his foot on his chest, keeping him from getting up. "Negan is so gonna punish you for this, idiot."  
"She's not his wife!", he yelled, as if that justified his behaviour, and squirmed under the other man's boot.  
"I don't fucking care, dickhead", he pressed his foot harder, making the other guy scream. He was tall, very tall, his blonde hair hung over his shoulders and his frame was broad.  
"What's up?"' a third man spoke, he placed his hands on his hips as he watched the scene. This man was older, perhaps on his forties, his hairline was receding and a thick moustache laid above his lips.  
"This douchebag was hitting that girl", the blonde man tilted his head towards me.  
"Huh", he said and scratched his moustache. "I think Negan's gonna want to deal with this shit himself. I'll take him."  
"Thanks, Simon", he said and took his foot away from the guy's chest. After watching how the man who apparently was named Simon took my assaulter, he walked towards me.  
"Shit...", he muttered closely to my face. I was facing the ground, feeling a little fearful of him standing exactly where the other man had been when he attacked me. "That looks awful, let me take you to Carson."  
"No", I stopped him with a murmur and I finally brought myself to raise my face. I noticed he was young, his fair skin was smooth and his eyes were bright green. He was definitely handsome, but I realized he was scowling. "I'm fine, thank you."  
"But it looks terrible, trust me", he grimaced and I wondered if it looked as bad as it hurt. But I didn't want to go to the doctor, I had already got into enough trouble on my first day at that place, all I wanted to do was go back to the prison. It was childish, but being in that dreadful situation only made me more homesick than I already was.  
I shook my head and he nodded, accepting my decision.  
"At least let me take you to your room", he offered. I didn't say anything, I only stood before him with a hesitant look. "I'm not gonna hurt you, I promise."  
"I'll go by myself, thank you", I said. He nodded again.  
"Alright. I'm Adam, by the way", he smiled and waited for me to introduce myself as well, I didn't so he walked away. "See ya."  
I waved shortly at him and took long and fast steps towards my room. I opened the jam stained door and shut it behind me. I threw myself to the bed and sank my face in the pillow, my tears soaking it. I cried, I cried a lot. I missed my friends, my family, my home. I remembered how I was so close to reach for Rick and Carl when someone threw that grenade, and how I could've been with Daryl and Beth but I got shot. I shed more salty tears and screamed into the pillow.

A couple of hours passed by and I was sitting on my bed, blankly staring at the floor, when my door was slammed open. I jumped slightly and looked at him with wide eyes. He was wearing his leather jacket and was holding his bat tightly; until that moment I realized it was wrapped with barbed wire.  
He walked towards my bed and grabbed my arm strongly, it hurt. He pulled me out of my room and led me down the hallway and the metallic stairway at a quick pace. I was afraid, I had no idea what was going to happen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, thank you for reading! Happy Holidays!


	4. Chapter 4

The cold breeze that hit my skin told me that we had reached the outside, the thin hairs on my legs stood on end for that was the only part of my body that wasn't covered.

  
He let go of me suddenly, and took a few steps ahead. There was someone kneeling on the ground, about six or seven men were standing around him and there was an audience of about fifteen people next to me.

I spotted Adam at the circle of men that surrounded the kneeling man. I took a better look once one of the men stepped aside, and I realized who it was. The guy who had slapped me twice earlier was on his knees, but he didn't seem so brave now.  
"Please, i-it was just an accident. I'm sorry!", he cried out. I didn't know what was going on but I didn't feel sorry for him. "Please, Negan, I'm sorry!"  
"A fucking accident?", he asked as he wiggled his bat at the guy's face. "Now that feels a lot like a fucking lie to me, don't you think?"  
He turned his gaze to the man with the moustache, Simon, I recalled.  
"It does, boss", Simon nodded and tucked his thumbs in the belt loops of his pants. The people next to me looked down at the guy with amusement, they murmured things and snickered.

  
"Please, Negan, it won't happen again. I've always sticked to the rules, you know that. Please!", the guy kept pleading, sweat ran down his forehead and his face was red.  
"Beating a girl, lying, acting like a fucking pussy... Now all that shit is a no-no", he said as he pointed the bat at the man's face. "You broke the rules. And you know what happens if you _break. the. fucking. rules_."  
"Negan! Negan, please-"

  
He raised his bat in the air and smashed it against the guy's head. I gasped loudly and my eyes went wide, I felt my heart beating intensely in my chest. The whole scene was terribly gruesome but no one else seemed to be as startled as I was.  
He kept swinging, hitting his head like it was a baseball and groaning as he did. I covered my mouth with a hand and took a step back. I closed my eyes, but I could still hear the sound of his brains being bashed in.  
He moaned loudly and I opened my eyes, there was a headless corpse on the ground and a scarlet puddle of blood and brains. I breathed heavily at the sight of it.

He walked away from the dead man, holding his soaked bat and stopping right next to  
me. As he leaned down, I saw him from the corner of my eye; there was blood splattered all over his face but he still wore a smirk as he whispered in my ear:  
"If anyone ever lays a fucking hand on you, just let me know", he turned to look at the gory mess on the ground and then back at me. "I'm Negan, by the way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I know this chapter is short, but I just wanted to let you know what happened, I'll post chapter five soon. I hope you're enjoying the story so far! Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

I laid in bed with my gaze lost in the ceiling. The images of what had happened ran through my head and made my body shudder. Well, that definitely helped me take my mind off of the memories of my friends. Every time I closed my eyes, I could hear how his bat landed on the man's head and wreaked havoc in him, destroying his skull and bashing in his brains.

I tried to fall asleep but it was too hard to forget the horrid scene that I had witnessed, so I decided to have some fresh air. I walked out of my room and closed the door behind me. I wandered down the hall, being confined inside these thick walls was gonna make me lose my mind eventually. I reached the staircase and, as I was about to walk down, I found out it wasn't empty. The man's figure was familiar, broad and tall; he was leaning against the wall and holding a cigarette between his fingers.

"It's late, what are you doing up?", Adam noticed me as he took a drag of his cigarette. I took a couple of steps down and leaned my back on the wall, just like him.  
"I couldn't sleep", I answered simply. He scoffed and breathed the smoke out.  
"After that shit he made you see, how could you?", his voice was hoarse and not as gentle as it had been earlier.  
"Why did he kill that guy?", I asked curiously. I remembered how Negan had told him that beating a girl, lying and "being a fucking pussy" was unacceptable, but I didn't know that beating him to death would be the punishment for that.  
"He hit you, didn't he?", he said without looking at me, his stare was vacantly set on the wall.  
"Yes, but why did he kill him like that?", I wanted to know everything. Negan intimidated me and, after tonight, he scared me, but he intrigued me. Adam walked up the stairs to where I was standing.  
"Stop worrying. Just go back to bed, think about unicorns or flower fields or whatever makes you happy and get some sleep, okay?", he said rather violently and offered me his cigarette. I shook my head and he tossed it to the floor, stepping on it. After he left, I went back to my room.  
I noticed my bedroom door was open, and I clearly remembered I had shut it before leaving. I peered inside and saw Negan sitting on my bed.  
"Where were you?", he asked when he saw me enter timidly. Just the sound of his voice made my heart pound faster after what he had done.  
"I-I needed some fresh air", I stuttered, that wasn't new, I always did around him. I stood by the door, if I was intimidated by him before, I was terrified now. "I-is that okay?"

He chuckled and stood up from the bed, my breathing accelerated with each step he took in my direction. He stood right before me and I felt him towering over me, he was at least a foot taller than me.  
"Are you afraid of me, darling?", he raised his hand and caressed my cheek with his thumb, he moved it down to my lower lip. Strangely, I wasn't afraid of him touching me like that, it somehow made me feel safe.  
"Why did you kill him?", my hands trembled as I spoke my question in a murmur, I forced myself to raise my head and look at him. His face was relaxed and soft, unlike the moment when he dragged me out of my room, right before murdering that guy.  
"I don't want you to get hurt", his voice was gruff as his eyes lingered on my face, his tone felt sincere. I had never been so close to him like I was in that moment, I could breathe his manly scent and see the warm color of his eyes.  
Negan placed a kiss on my forehead and let go of me. He walked out of the room and shut the door behind him without saying a word.

I threw myself to the bed and touched my face with the back of my cold hand. My face was burning hot, I must have been blushing like crazy. I was grateful it was late at night and my room was dark, so the embarrassing shade on the cheeks he was touching wasn't so evident.  
I pulled the pink covers and tucked myself in. I adjusted the pillow several times under my head and stared at the jar of jam that sat on my nightstand until I fell asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I didn't really like how I left things on chapter four, so I wrote this. I also wanted more Negan <3 Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Four days went by since the murder I had witnessed and I hadn't seen Negan since that night. I had an odd desire to see him, even if I was still a little scared of him. My mind lingered on that moment we had shared in my room, it had been so strange seeing him like that after beating that guy to death, but it had made me feel safe for a moment.  
Every day I wandered through the halls with the hope that I would find any familiar face looking back at me, but it never happened; none of the members of my group were there.  
On the fifth day, Adam visited my room and told me Negan wanted me to go to Carson and get my stitches removed. I wondered why he didn't tell me himself, but Adam said Negan was busy, he needed to _deal_ with a community which he referred to as 'The Kingdom'. I wasn't sure what that meant, although Adam had told me about the arrangement Negan had with them and with other smaller, nameless communities.

I spent more time on the outside than I did around the people inside the compound, it was more calming than being confined inside the thick, grey walls and under the heavy stares. I was sitting near the yellow railing of the stairs when I saw the men that guarded the gates fighting. They were yelling nasty things and started punching each other.  
Other two men went towards them to break them apart and they took the guards back to the building. One of them locked the gates, but there was no one guarding them.  
A thought raced my mind dangerously; I could rather stay at The Sanctuary and live decently or I could leave, look for my group and finally be with the people I had come to call family.  
"Screw it", I murmured to myself and rushed down the stairs, I walked carefully towards the gates and unlocked them.  
I peered at the outside, a vast region of woods laid out there and the chill air hit my face. I turned back and there was still no one around, so I stepped outside.  
I walked cautiously but then I quickened my pace, I started running because I became too nervous, I thought I would be caught in any minute.  
I ran fast and breathed heavily, looking back almost every two seconds and never watching where I was stepping. At least a mile was left behind my feet, I knew because I was completely out of breath.  
As my right leg hit the ground, I felt something closing around my ankle. I screamed in pain, I felt how my bone cracked under that thing. I fell to the ground and looked down to find a metal trap and my right foot caught under its jaws. I cried out, never thinking it would attract any walkers, but at this point I didn't really mind them. I really thought I was going to die there, the odds weren't in my favour this time, I was trapped and I was alone, I was in pain and I was too far from the community I had fled from.  
I thought of Glenn, he was always hopeful and eager to get us out of the pit, he came up with ideas and suggestions to help the group; I wish I was more like him, but now I was completely hopeless. There was also Carl, he didn't really understand how many things worked or how complicated they were, but he knew there was always a way out. And Rick, he never gave up, he fought for his family, for us. My mind drifted away, probably some kind of mechanism that my brain came up with to distract me from the sharp teeth that caged my foot. Eventually, the pain became unbearable and I blacked out.

_There was also Daryl, he seemed like a lone wolf at first, but he always sticked to us and protected us. Michonne, she was mysterious and reserved, I suppose isolation does that to a person, however she fought with us to protect our community and became a member of our family. I also thought of Carol, Rick had sent her away a few days before the Governor attacked the prison, but I remembered her just like everyone else, she was so strong and brave, I looked up to her; but now I just felt like a failure._

I woke up and the first thing I could feel was the pain in my ankle. I grunted and wished I would've stayed asleep, holding on to the memories of my friends.  
"Hey there", a male voice greeted, it was deep but pleasant. I tried to move but was immediately stopped by the pain, which made me whimper. "Woah, easy."  
"My ankle...", I mumbled and rubbed my face, my eyes were still closed.  
"Yeah, sorry about that. We set those traps for rabbits and opossums, we didn't expect you to fall on one of them."  
I winced, even if I wasn't moving the pain lingered on. I noticed that I wasn't laying on the ground anymore, it felt like I was sleeping on a cloud.  
"But you're gonna be fine, you're in a much better place now."  
I blinked repeatedly as my eyes adjusted to the light and I looked at him. He was sitting next to the bed where I was laying and his wide, blue eyes were soft on me. He had long, brown hair and a bushy beard; he was wearing a white shirt loosely and he had an book on his lap.  
"Who are you?", I asked and he smiled gently.  
"I'm Jesus", he said. I raised my eyebrows and looked down at my hurt ankle, then back at him. He laughed and shook his head. "No, you're not dead. My name's actually Paul, but my friends call me Jesus."  
"Am I at the... the...", I started my question as I looked around the room curiously. It wasn't something I would've expected to see at the Sanctuary. The room was beautifully decorated, with fancy furniture and large windows that allowed the light to crash inside wonderfully.  
"The Hilltop", he finished my sentence with a nod. I frowned and returned my gaze to him in confusion.  
"The Hilltop?", my mind began contemplating all the things that could happen when Negan found out I was gone. I had to get back to the Sanctuary as soon as possible. "I need to go."  
I straightened my dress and placed my healthy leg on the floor, preparing myself to move the other one.  
"Wait", Jesus held his hands in the air. "We have a doctor, you'll be fine, but you need to rest."  
"No, I have to go", I placed my right foot on the floor softly, but it still hurt too much. I tried to swallow the pain to make him believe I was good enough to leave.  
"Why? I don't think there's something more important than your safety right now. So, please, just go back to bed."  
"No, my group could come here in any minute", I told him with concern.  
"Good, then you won't be alone out there", he said and I shook my head. "But in the meantime, get some rest."  
"No!", I yelled and he opened his eyes widely, staring at me. "Listen, you don't want my group around, trust me."  
"What do you mean?", he scowled and seemed curious about my answer. I had learned from Adam what the Saviours did to other communities, but telling Jesus about it would be pointless, probably, he wouldn't even believe me.  
"Just let me go, please", I looked at him with an innocent pout and I saw his face softening. Before he could answer, another man entered the room. His hair was grey as well as his stubble; he was wearing a suit and a big, silver watch on his wrist.  
"You've finally woken up, dear", his voice had a smug tone in it. I only stared at him, I had nothing to say to his comment.  
"So can I go?", I turned back to Jesus, but he wasn't the one who answered.  
"Oh, no, no, no", the older man shook his head as he looked down at me. "You can't go just yet."  
"Gregory...", Jesus sighed and faced the ground as he shook his head.  
"You have to stay, dear. You see, we spent a lot of time and resources in healing that ankle of yours. Our doctor also took some stitches off your leg, so you're in debt with us", he spoke conceitedly. I scoffed, wasn't their animal trap what got me in this situation?  
"You're gonna have to work for what we've spent on you", he told me.  
"No, I'll work for what we've spent", Jesus said. "Gregory, she needs to rest."  
"And who's gonna do your job?", Gregory placed his hands on his hips. Jesus sighed exasperated and rolled his eyes. "You're gonna stay here."  
He pointed his finger at me as he said those last words and then he walked out of the room.  
"I'm sorry about that, but he calls the shots around here", Jesus apologized with a hint of anger in his words.  
I sighed, inside I was panicking. How long would it take for me to 'pay my debt'? How long would it take before Negan realized I wasn't at the Sanctuary? Any trace of the adrenaline that had pushed me to escape was gone along the hope of finding my friends. Why couldn't I just have stayed in my room that day?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I felt like I owed you a longer chapter, so here it is! I hope you enjoyed it, and please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

The next day I woke up to the smell of breakfast next to my bed. I opened my eyes to find Jesus leaving a tray on the nightstand.  
"I figured you'd be hungry", he smiled awkwardly, as if he wasn't expecting me to wake up while he left breakfast for me.  
"Thank you", I appreciated the gesture, even if I was still angry about being forced to stay at that place.  
"When you're done, and if your ankle doesn't hurt that much, would you like me to show you around?", he asked as he scratched his head under his beanie. "I mean, you're gonna be working here, after all."  
I nodded and took the glass of orange juice in my hand. "Yeah, that would be nice."  
"Okay", he walked away from me but didn't leave the room, he headed towards one of the dressers and pulled out a dark shirt, then he opened another drawer and took a pair of jeans from it.  
"Is this your room?", I asked as I watched him.  
"Yeah", he said without turning to look at me. I felt a little bad. His room was majestic, at least for living in the end of the world, and I had taken it from him. I wondered where he had slept in if I had been sleeping in his king-sized bed. But his animal trap had broken my ankle, so I guess we were even. He took all the clothes he needed and opened the white, wooden door. "I'll come back later."

I finished my breakfast and stayed on the bed. I looked down at my blue dress and noticed it had dirt stains, there were also gashes in the skirt part. Great, as if it weren't short enough.  
My mind was fixed on Negan. Adam had told me how the searched for the people that escaped, he also told me that once they found them, they locked them inside that cage full of walkers. Negan had told me he didn't want to hurt me, but I had broken the rules and there was always a punishment for that.  
A shiver rolled down my spine at the thought of it, I should've considered all of that before running away, I had been so stupid.

I tried to stand up with one leg, leaving the other resting on the bed. I leaned on the nightstand and, when I was steady enough, I finally laid my other foot carefully on the floor. Someone had wrapped a bandage around it, keeping it warm and together.  
I waddled around without leaning my weight on my right leg, it was slow but less painful.  
After a few minutes of hopping from side to side, I heard the door opening. It was Jesus, and he was holding a pair of crutches.  
"Hey, I found these", he lent them to me. "We've had them around for a while and no one has ever needed them."  
I smiled and nodded in gratitude, he reciprocated the smile. I took them and leaned my weight on them, but I noticed they were too tall for me. We both chuckled at how I had to shift my arms to hold them, and Jesus crouched to adjust them. They went a few inches down and he settled them when I was finally comfortable. I realized I only needed one of the crutches, using both was not necessary nor practical.

"Do you need help?", he asked. I shook my head and started walking with the crutch.  
We walked out of the room and reached the stairs. I stood before them, wondering how the hell was I supposed to go down.  
"I think it'd be easier if I help you a little here", Jesus placed his hand around my waist on my right side and lifted me up a bit. I didn't feel too comfortable with having a stranger holding me like that, but the kind of pain that leaning on my right foot or falling down the stairs with a broken ankle would bring me was far worse than letting him help me a little.  
He let go of me slowly once we were at the ground floor. I noticed there was a big room at the right, there was a wooden desk and leather couch inside, fine paintings were displayed on the upholstered walls and I even saw a chimney; I noticed all this because the white doors were open.  
"What's in there?", I asked as I pointed at that room.  
"Oh, that's Gregory's office", he answered. Did Gregory really need an office? Did anyone really need an office these days? I maintained the thought that Gregory was smug and conceited.  
Jesus opened the large doors that led to the outside. I narrowed my eyes and tilted my head to the side, it was around midday so the sun was high on the sky.  
The Hilltop was small, much smaller than the Sanctuary. But people seemed happy, they didn't carry guns as the Saviours usually did. I noticed that they had their own crops, they even had livestock, which reminded me of the prison. In fact, a lot of things about this place reminded of the prison; they helped each other, they liked each other, I would even dare to say that they were family to each other, something that the Sanctuary lacked.  
I took my crutch again as Jesus led me through the place, he introduced me quickly to the people who lived in the trailers, but I couldn't get myself to learn all their names.  
He showed me where they sowed, there were carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers and more. The people that worked in the crops seemed jolly and well fed, they worked happily and even took bites of the vegetables they pulled out. I knew they didn't have an arrangement with Negan, I didn't want to see them giving up what they had been working for.  
Jesus took me to the back, that's were they kept the pigs and chicken, there were even two cows. I was amazed, these people had definitely worked hard for this place and it was impressing what they had achieved.  
"What would you like to work in?", he asked me as I stared at one of the cows, it had been a long time since I had seen one.  
"Uh, the crops seem nice", I answered halfheartedly, I was still hesitant about staying. Jesus nodded.  
"Alright", he said. "It's time to go back."  
I sighed and looked down, trying to find a way to convince him to let me go, although I knew he would get in trouble with Gregory.  
"What is it?", he asked gently.  
"I can't stay", I told him and lifted my head. "I really shouldn't be here."  
"But Gregory-", he started to say, but I interrupted him.  
"Fuck Gregory", I felt the rage burning up in my stomach. "Gregory has no idea what could happen if I stay any longer."  
"I don't either", he set his eyes on me sternly. "But I know what could happen if you go on your own."  
"Jesus-", he cut me off.  
"Look, I'm sorry, but I can't let you go", he said. I sighed and shook my head, fearful of what would happen if the Saviours found this place.  
I tried to move the crutch, but it had gotten stuck in the mud. It was too deep down the puddle, so when I pulled it and it didn't come up, it slipped from my hands.  
Jesus snickered and crouched to pick up the crutch but it was already too dirty.  
"I'll clean it later, but first let's take you back to my room", he walked towards me and was about to wrap his arm around my waist again, but I slightly tilted back.  
"It's okay, I can walk by myself", I said. He looked a little confused at first, but then he seemed to realize something and he shook his head.  
"I don't... like you that way, if that's what you're worried about", he told me. "In fact, I don't really like women that way."  
"Oh", I mouthed, and he laughed again. It made me feel stupid, but even if he didn't have those kind of intentions, I didn't like stranger hands touching me too often and I was still mad at him.  
"You need help, let me help you", Jesus bowed a little so I could wrap my arm around his shoulder, I did and leaned on him for support as we walked back to the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter, which is kind of uneventful, but some intense things are going to happen in the next one! Please let me know what you think, thanks for reading (:


	8. Chapter 8

We spent the afternoon in his room. Jesus was talking about how Gregory was a mediocre leader, but people seemed to trust him, although he's not the leader he would've chosen. I didn't tell him about Negan or the Saviours, but I lived with that fear every moment I spent in the Hilltop.  
Instead, I heard him talk about the community and the way they handled things until night fell upon us.  
The windows in his room were suddenly illuminated by the reflection of orange flames, igniting with a loud bang and people screaming; it reminded me to the sound of the grenade that went off near me when the prison was under attack. Jesus rushed to the window and his eyes widened at the view.  
"What is it?", I asked with concern, but he didn't answer, he just kept staring outside.  
"Stay here", he held his hands up in front of him and ran out of the room. I limped from the bed to the window to see what was going on. The walls that the residents of the Hilltop had raised were now on the ground as a truck with giant tires ran over them and a white van behind it made sure they stayed down. I recognized the black truck. I grunted in frustration and slammed my fist on the wall.  
I hopped on my left foot out of the room, I climbed down the stairs holding on to the railing and watched how Gregory stood by the doors of his office as Jesus walked out of the house.

"What's going on?", Gregory asked Jesus with a glint of fear in his voice.  
"I don't know", he answered from the porch. People started coming out of their trailers and looked at the trucks with confusion and bewilderment.  
Jesus walked towards the black vehicle and Gregory followed a few meters behind him, some men gathered around the truck.  
Walkers were called by all the noise, they slowly made their way into the community as the Saviours played loud music from the vehicle. The residents started retreating and slowly stepping away from the walkers.  
The doors finally opened and the Saviours walked out with their guns in hand. I stood by the door of the house, afraid of what was about to happen.  
I recognized Adam between a few men that I had seen before but I couldn't remember their names, I also saw Simon. There were at least twenty men with weapons standing in front of the black truck now.  
He was the last one to jump down the truck, he was wearing his black leather jacket with his red scarf. I shivered when I saw him holding his bat.  
"Nice fucking place!", he exclaimed in a cheerful tone. I sank behind the door as his gaze travelled down the community.  
"Who are you?", Jesus asked firmly, making Negan fix his eyes on him.  
"We are your Saviours!", Negan said and with that, his men started shooting the walkers that had gotten inside with their machine guns, they roared violently as they shot much more bullets than were needed.  
People whispered and took steps back, there were audible gasps amongst them.  
"And half this shit belongs to us!", he raised his arms in the air.  
"Excuse me?", Jesus took a step closer to Negan and a couple of men stood beside him, but not Gregory. I felt my breathing accelerating.  
"Whatever you have going on in here, it's ours now", he explained with a wicked grin.  
"Who the fuck do you think you are?", Jesus raised his voice.  
"I'm Negan", he maintained his smirk and took a hand to his chest. "But I don't think you're getting the fucking point here."  
"What point?", Jesus' voice was defiant, which made Negan chuckle.  
"That you work for me now."  
"Do we?", as Jesus stood up to Negan, Gregory was now mingled amongst the people, watching the conversation between the two men.  
"If this is going to work, you need to understand right off the bat", he shifted his bat in his hand and laughed bitterly. He turned to look at Simon and pointed his finger casually at the people. "Let's get everybody on their knees."  
His men threw them to the ground and forced them to kneel, the Saviours pointed their multiple weapons at the people. I stood behind the door, feeling as scared as I had been the night he killed one of his men, only this time I knew what he was going to do.  
"Now, one of you fuckers is going to die", he said. "We just have to choose who is it gonna be!"  
I shook my head as I watched him walking towards the residents of the Hilltop, I couldn't see their faces, but their bodies were trembling and their sobs could be heard all the way to the house.  
"You?", he raised his bat at a man who only looked up at him. Negan only laughed lowly and kept walking, he stopped in front of a woman whose hands were shaking at her sides. "You?"  
He shook his head and continued strolling through the kneeling people, he stood right in front of a boy, his shoulders bounced as he cried and he was holding an older man's hand, I supposed he was his father.  
"No", Negan pointed his bat at him and grinned. "It's you."  
He chuckled and lowered his bat, he turned around and gave Simon some instructions I couldn't hear. I got out of the house and limped towards them quickly, I saw people crying and sobbing on the ground, some of them rubbed their eyes over their lids as if they couldn't believe what they were seeing.  
"Don't kill him!", I yelled at the top of my lungs as I reached the part where everyone was kneeling. Everything around me stopped, not one made a sound. Negan turned around and bit his lower lip, he had a surprised look on his face as he stared at me. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I was the only one standing, apart from the Saviours. "Please don't kill him."  
Negan turned to Adam and tilted his head towards me. Adam walked to me with long steps and grabbed my arm rather tightly, pulling me to the Saviours. I grunted when my right foot hit the ground, he looked down at it and noticed it was bandaged.  
He pulled me less roughly, giving me a chance to keep my foot off the ground. He let go of me once we had reached the men and he pushed me to Negan.  
I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes, I couldn't even raise my gaze from the ground under his boots.  
"Please don't", I murmured and my voice cracked. He stood in silence for a minute and all I could hear was my heart's pounding resounding in my ear until he leaned down and brought his lips closer to my face.  
"You are in no position to plead. I am fucking pissed", Negan whispered, he did sound furious. I knew that speaking would only make him angrier, but I couldn't see that boy die without saying anything for him.  
"You are angry at me, not at them. Punish me", I pleaded as tears welled up in my eyes. He looked down at me as he caressed my cheek with his thumb.  
"Darling, that's exactly what I'm doing", he said and walked past me towards the boy.  
"Please!", I cried over and over again, but he didn't listen. "Negan, please!"  
I echoed the pleas of the man who I watched being murdered by Negan, every sob scratched my throat in a desperate attempt to make him put his bat down and spare the boy. But he didn't. He beat the boy to death and left his remains on the ground to rot.  
The screams and cries of the people rang painfully through the atmosphere, I couldn't even face them, all I did was stand in place and stare at the pieces of flesh and brains that swam on the blood of the boy. No doubt everyone in the Hilltop blamed me for it, hell, even I blamed myself for it.

My eyes met Jesus' and I saw his look turn blank under the couple of tears that glistened on his eyes. I gave him an apologetic look and mouthed:  
"I'm sorry", but that wasn't enough, that didn't begin to express how I felt about what happened that night. His stare lingered on mine for a couple of seconds and then he turned his head to face Negan, his eyes kept nothing but hate within them as he did.  
"Alright, time to go!", Negan swung his bat again and streaks of blood landed on a couple of faces. "We'll come for our first offering in a week, better have our shit ready."

Negan turned around and smirked at me, he walked in my direction. He stopped next to me and chuckled, he grabbed my forearm roughly and raised our hands high, turning around to face the Hilltop residents.  
"Oh, that's right. Thanks for keeping her safe for me!", he said loudly and barked out a laugh at the look of confusion on the people's faces; once he made sure everyone was looking at us, he walked towards the truck as he pulled me by the arm.  
Negan opened the passenger door and pushed me forwards into the truck. He hopped into the driver's seat and started the vehicle. Through the windshield, I could see people standing from the ground and slowly brushing the dirt off their knees with careless hands and vacant stares, they were broken. Jesus was the first one to go to the boy's father, he hugged the disconsolate man and whispered few words that I assumed were meant to be comforting, but the man kept weeping as he looked at the pieces and puddles that had become of his son.

Negan drove back as the white van got out of the way. We drove down the road in silence, I looked out the window and wished the light drops that started to pour from the sky would wash away the image from earlier that night.  
I watched the white van taking another way and deviating from the road we were following.  
"Where are we going?", I asked with a glint of panic in my voice. He tilted his head to the side and looked at me, a smirk spread across his lips as he let out a low chuckle.  
"We're just gonna take a ride, darling", he said and turned his head back to the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter, please let me know what you think! Thank you for reading! I also hope you have a wonderful new year <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter, thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think (:

A week had passed since that night at the Hilltop, and this was the day Negan would go back to take what he claimed was his. I stood by the window of my room, watching his men preparing the trucks to leave, so I walked carefully but quickly towards the exit. My ankle still hurt when I touched the ground with my right foot, but I could feel it was healing. 

I found Adam putting some bullets inside his gun, I looked at him intently but he wasn’t looking at me, he seemed focused on his task. 

“Hey”, he greeted with a lazy voice and his green eyes still set on the bullets and the gun. He always acknowledged my presence even when he wasn’t looking at me. I didn’t answer, I was still somewhat angry at everything that had happened at the Hilltop, I knew it wasn’t his fault, but I couldn’t help but feel certain resentment towards the Saviours. 

 

I saw Negan by the black truck, he was talking to Simon and another one of his men. I waited until their conversation ended to talk to him. 

“You’re going to the Hilltop”, I intended to ask but it was hard to fake an interrogation tone when I already knew the answer. He placed his hands as fists on his hips and looked down at me. “Can I go with you?”

He laughed as he ran his tongue down his front teeth. I straightened my back and puffed out my chest, trying to let him know that his sneer hadn’t affected me. 

“Can I?”, I asked again. 

“You absolutely cannot”, he said with amusement. 

“Why the fuck not?”, I spat out, which only made him chuckle. 

“Oh, you’re a fucking badass, darling”, he joked and took a step closer to me. “You can’t go because the last time you walked through those gates, you caused a lot of fucking trouble and you cost me one of my men, so no, you can’t fucking come with us.”

“But-“, I stopped abruptly, wondering if what I was planning to say would make him let me go with them. “But you also found the Hilltop because of me, didn’t you?”

“ _The Hilltop_?”, he asked as he raised an eyebrow, I could tell he was amused by the fact that I used the name of the community. 

“I won’t cause any trouble this time”, I told him with pleading eyes. He exhaled deeply and rubbed his stubble, and I knew he was actually considering it. “Please.”

I held my hands together at the level of my skirt and tiptoed slightly as I pleaded, as if I were a child. 

“Just get in the fucking truck”, he said after a couple of minutes and walked away, heading towards some of his men and letting them know it was time to go. I climbed inside the truck on the passenger seat and buckled my belt, I looked through the windshield and I suddenly started remembering the night when I had found myself in the same spot I was sitting on in that very moment. 

 

_The night was dark, the shadows the trees projected on the concrete were grim and the way they danced on the pavement gave me goosebumps; the rain was falling harder than it had been when we left the Hilltop and the noise drowned the sound of my heart beating wildly in my chest, I tried to focus on everything, on anything, to distract myself from the fact that his eyes were set on me._

_The truck had stopped about a minute ago and the silence that had taken over the vehicle was overwhelming. My stare was fixed on the road that I could see through the windshield as he shifted on his seat and rested his elbow on the backrest of it._

_“The fuck happened to your leg?”, he asked simply, but the very sound of his voice formed a lump in my throat._

_“Why did you kill him?”, I chose not to answer and asked a question myself, which was stupid. It was hard for me not to be stupid around him, he made my insides quaver and my cheeks burn with fervent heat. However, what I felt in that moment was beyond the intimidating effect he usually caused on me, I was solely driven by anger._

_Unlike the few times I had spoken to him before that night, he didn’t seem amused by my question in the slightest._

_“He had to die”, he answered sternly._

_“I asked you not to kill him”, salty tears started flooding my eyes and threatened to roll down my cheeks as I spoke, yet again, another stupid choice of words. I didn’t really know the boy he had murdered, I think Jesus had mentioned his name was Rory, but he was just a kid, perhaps a couple of years younger than me._

_“Well, you are not in fucking charge”, Negan uttered and I could feel the fury of his words landing harshly on my face with his breath. “_ **_I am_ ** _, so now, what the fuck happened to your fucking leg?”_

_I kept my stare on the windshield, I wasn’t focusing on anything now, only on trying to keep my eyes off of him. That ended quickly when he grabbed my chin between his forefinger and his thumb and pulled my head roughly to face him._

_“I got hurt in the woods”, I said simply. His eyes fell from my face to my ankle, travelling down my body. However, his gaze returned to my eyes shortly after looking at the bandaged area._

_He released his grip on me and shifted again on his seat to face the road, but I was still looking at him._

_“What are you gonna do to them?”, he turned back to me and frowned. “Are you really gonna take all they have?”_

_“I said half and, darling, I’m a man of my fucking word”, he said with a grin._

_“They’re good people”, I whispered and my gaze fell to the floor with guilt. He exhaled deeply._

_“Listen, this is the new world order”, Negan placed his hand on one side of my face and raised my head slowly, less harshly than the last time. “You’re on the winning team, darling, so lighten the fuck up.”_

_I swallowed hard and he noticed I was tense. His thumb tugged gently at my bottom lip, as he had done that time in my room, but unlike that night, I didn’t feel safe or calm. I suddenly remembered how he had used that hand to wield the bat with which he had beaten Rory to death. I turned my face away from his touch and set my gaze, once again, on the view through the windshield._

 

Negan climbed on the driver seat and shut the door with a loud sound that woke me up from my thoughts. He didn’t turn to look at me nor did he spoke a word the whole ride to the Hilltop, he just kept his eyes on the road and hands upon the wheel. 

We arrived at the gates but they remained closed, although the people guarding them had already seen the trucks. 

Negan honked three times with a laugh, but I knew that the amusement would quickly slip from his face if they didn’t open the gates immediately. 

The gates finally opened and we drove through them. I saw Gregory walking out of the house and stopping at the porch, where Jesus had been standing with his arms crossed over his chest since the moment we crossed the gates. Both of them looked furious.

Negan jumped down the truck and fixed his leather jacket, I noticed the rest of the Saviours climbing down the two other trucks after him. 

 

“So, let’s get started!”, he exclaimed with a big smile and then walked towards the house. I could see Jesus walking to him and Gregory following behind. 

“You heard the man”, Simon told the rest of the Saviours and they began moving. 

 

I got out of the truck but stayed next to it as his men headed towards the crops and the trailers where the people lived. 

“Let’s talk”, I heard Negan tell Gregory as he stood in front of him, the man was probably cursing himself for not staying behind Jesus. 

 

Jesus watched them disappear into the house, when they shut the front door, he headed towards the crops to check if Negan’s men were taking only half as they had claimed. I followed him, I needed to talk to him.

 

“Do you need any help with that?”, I asked shyly as I saw him picking up a basket full of carrots from the ground, I didn’t know what he was planning on doing with it but I hoped he wasn’t thinking on hiding them from Negan. 

“I got it, thanks”, he mumbled as he carried the wicker basket. I was facing his back as I fiddled with my hands and nervously placed a strand of hair behind my ear. 

“I-I’m sorry”, I stuttered my apology. He didn’t turn around to look at me.

“For what?”

“For… what happened that night”, I said, ashamed. 

“It wasn’t your fault, was it?”, his voice wasn’t aggressive but it wasn’t soft either, nowhere near as gentle as it had been the day I woke up on his bed. 

“Well, kind of…”, I lowered my head. I saw his feet turning around and we were finally face to face. 

“It wasn’t”, he sounded sure of it. “You did warn us, right? You said your group would come here and that we wouldn’t want them around. Well, they came.”

I raised my head and found him looking at me. 

“Are you angry at me?”, I asked. I felt like an idiot as soon as I spoke the question, why was I even worried about that when a person had just died a week ago? However, he smiled and shook his head. 

“No”, he answered and I reciprocated the soft smile. He saw something behind me and his expression changed completely. I turned around and noticed that Gregory was walking out of the house right after Negan left, he was walking towards us with his head down. 

 

“What is it?”, Jesus frowned. Gregory looked at me and I could tell he did blame me for what had happened, even if Jesus claimed he wasn’t angry at me, I knew Gregory was. 

“We _talked_ ”, he exhaled deeply, I wondered if he had been holding his breath since Negan pulled him into the house. 

“And?”

“I told him we ran out of ammo weeks ago”, he told Jesus, who gestured for him to go on. “They will help us with the roamer problem.”

“We could’ve handled the roamer problem, Gregory”, Jesus said sternly. “We don’t need them around here.”

“He killed Toby, Jesus.”

“Rory”, he corrected. 

“And that was just a warning, I'm telling you. They have guns, men”, Gregory ignored Jesus and continued. “We can’t afford to refuse the deal they offered us.”

Jesus’ eyes went wide. “You took the deal?”

“I don’t want to give them what we’ve worked for any more than you do”, he placed his hands on his hips. 

“Right, _we’ve_ worked for”, Jesus scoffed and shook his head. 

“ _Gracie_!”, Negan called my name in a singsong tone. I knitted my brows in a scowl, no one had called me that since I was ten years old. I turned around and saw him walking towards me.

He placed an arm on my shoulders as soon as he reached the place where we were. 

“Time to leave, darling”, he said and his hot breath hit my face. Gregory and Jesus both stared at us and I could feel my face blushing entirely. Negan chuckled. “We’ll come back soon, I hope you have something good for us when that happens, _Gregory_.”

Negan dragged the man’s name in a mocking voice. Gregory rushed to nod eagerly, and Jesus could barely resist the urge to roll his eyes. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter, please let me know what you think! Thank you for the kudos and comments, I really appreciate them!

I stood at his door with steady feet and hesitant hands at my back. I had been at the Sanctuary for over two weeks now and I didn’t have a job. Of course, it was mostly my fault for always getting a part of me hurt, but I was also getting tired of the looks people shot me whenever I took a loaf of bread or a bunch of berries or grapes. They hated me, and I did know it, and I did get it. 

My ankle was better. Two weeks had gone by since the last time we went to the Hilltop and I never left the compound again. I spent my days in my room, sometimes Amber would stop by and we would talk. About anything, but she never really told me about what she did to earn her stay in the Sanctuary. She was nice, I liked her and she didn’t have that look of hatred in her green eyes when she looked at me. 

Sometimes, when I left my room for dinner, I would see Adam and he would wave at me or just give me a slight nod, but he never really talked to me. I wondered why, was it something I had said or done? Probably not, I hadn’t even spoken to him since the day we went to the Hilltop. I missed him, he was one of the two friends I had made during my stay at the Sanctuary, he had saved me from a painful and terrible situation on my first day and he had been nothing but nice to me since we met. 

But right now, there I stood. Before the large door that led to Negan’s room. I took a deep breath and closed my hand into a fist, bringing it up at the level of my chest and preparing myself to knock. I did it softly, three times, but no one answered. I counted to ten and breathed out again. My knocking came down on his door a little louder this time, but my knuckles only crashed on the surface twice because before I could did it once more, someone opened the door. 

I expected to see Negan, but I saw someone completely different. Her red hair fell in waves over her shoulders, contrasting with her pale skin and the dark fabric of her dress, it looked like one I had worn before. No, it was the _same_ dress I had worn before. Her eyes were brown and expressionless against mine. 

“Come in”, I heard his hoarse voice from inside the room. The girl had left the door open, so I only slid into the room slowly and, when I turned back to see her, I noticed she had closed the door behind me and left. 

He was sitting on his couch, his right leg crossed over his left one, his right arm laid on the armrest and his eyes set on me. I noticed he wasn’t wearing anything but his boxers. My face must have blushed a radish red because I felt it heating up like a bonfire. 

He laughed lowly and held two fingers up, gesturing for me to come closer as I was still standing right in front the door. I took a couple of steps forward, but he moved his fingers again. I walked until the individual couch that was in front of him was grazing my legs. 

He repeated the gesture. I moved warily until I left that couch behind and now I was right before him. I pressed my knees together, he was at a lower level and I was wearing a somewhat short dress. 

“What can I do you for, darling?”, he smirked and slightly leaned his head back. 

“I want to know what will be my job”, I said, trying to speak firmly but it had always been hard for me to not be intimidated by him. 

“Your job?”, he raised an eyebrow. I nodded and he released a laugh. “You must be the first fucking person who asks me for a job.”

“You said everyone has jobs”, I reminded him. “To earn points and get food, clothes, and a _fucking_ roof over my head.”

He laughed as I quoted him. 

“You want a job?”, he asked with a less joking tone, and I answered with a nod. “What are you good at?”

I knitted my brows together as I looked for an answer to his question. There weren’t many things I was good at, before the outbreak I had been good in school and figure skating, but that was over now. Math, chemistry, literature and sliding on ice. But high school never prepared us for whatever this was.

In the prison I didn’t do much. Carol had taught me to cook, but I wouldn’t consider myself good at it. Hershel had passed on to me some of his medical knowledge, but there was already a doctor at the Sanctuary and I was nowhere near as good as him. 

Cleaning, doing laundry, taking care of the kids, those had been my only chores at the prison. 

“I could, uh…”, I looked around his room, desperately searching for something I could do. “I could clean your room.”

He raised his eyebrow and a sneerful expression took over his face. 

“Clean my room?”, he asked.

“Yeah”, I nodded, trying to seem confident. I wasn’t, though.

“I already have people who do that, darling”, he said. 

I tried to think of something else, quickly searching through the halls of my brain for something I could be good at, but sadly there weren’t many things. 

“Actually”, he stood up from the couch and towered over me. “Cleaning my room sounds like a good fucking idea.”

I didn’t say anything. 

“Why don’t you make my bed and we’ll see what you can do?”, he said and pointed his hand at the bed on the other side of the room. I turned around to look at it, but mostly because I wanted to hide the embarrassing scarlet colour of my face from him. 

His bed was unmade, sheets torn away from the mattress and hanging from the bed, the pillows on the floor and on the nigh table. I remembered the girl that I had seen coming out of his room, fixing her dress and hair a little messy. 

I took my eyes back to him and saw a smile on his face, I turned around and walked towards his bed. 

First, I took all the sheets and covers from the bed, letting them fall to the floor and leaving the mattress completely nude. I grabbed the pillows and laid them on top of the sheets. 

I took the first sheet and, grabbing it by two ends of it, waved it in the air and let it fall on the mattress. I was about to pick up the other sheet when his voice stopped me. 

“No”, he said firmly. “Iron it first.”

I turned to look at him and he was sitting on the couch again, in the same spot and same position. I knew what he really wanted by giving me that order, but a part of me still thought that all he wanted was someone to make his bed properly, so I did as he said. I hated that part of me. 

I bent over the bed and ran my hand softly on it, ironing the creases and making the sheet look smooth. My dress wasn’t too short, but it wasn’t long either, I tried my best to keep it at that length as I made his bed, but the skirt still fell higher on my thighs as I leaned on the mattress. 

I continued with the next sheet and repeated the process. I grabbed the covers and settled them on the bed, pulling them and ironing them as he had asked me to. 

I took the two pillows and placed one on the right side of the bed, sinking my knee on the mattress and stretching myself to put the second one on the other side. This time I didn’t even try to pull down the hem of my dress or to hold myself back. I knew he was watching and I knew he could see under my skirt. I was wearing the same red lace lingerie Amber had given me on my first day here, and he had seen it that day as well. I wondered if he remembered. 

When I straightened my back and lifted myself up, I felt my back slamming against something. It was his chest. Oh, fuck. 

My heart pounded faster, I could hear it in my ears and feel it in my throat. His hand fell softly on my thigh, my knee was still on the bed. 

I felt it going up and then back down. I breathed heavily, feeling the hot air landing on my upper lip and burning my skin. I hated to admit it, but I liked the feeling of his hand on my thigh. 

“Seems like a good fucking job to me”, he whispered in my ear and I closed my eyes. This wasn’t happening, it was a dream, I wanted it to keep going but I wanted to know it was a dream and I could wake up at any minute. 

He placed his other hand on my waist and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was shivering, but not in fear, in something else that I could feel in my gut, a strange warmth that was spreading itself down my body. 

His fingers moved upwards but they didn’t come down again, I found myself craving for his touch and waiting for him to sink his fingers inside me. He fiddled with the red fabric of my panties, slightly grazing my skin as he did, but then he left. 

I could no longer feel his chest against my back, his right hand on my thigh or his left one on my waist, his chin on my head or his breath on my ear. 

“So cleaning it is”, he smirked and sat on the couch again, crossing his right leg over his left one. I opened my eyes and let go of a heavy breath, leaving the moans stuck in my throat. 

I put my feet down and ironed the creases my knee had left on the covers. Then I ironed my own dress and pulled a couple of stray hairs away off my face, feeling how warm it was. 

I suddenly felt ashamed of myself. What would Rick think of me? What would Daryl think? No. I shook those thoughts out of my head. I hadn’t seen them in almost three weeks, yet somehow I always worried about them. I wondered if they worried about me. 

The one task Negan had given me was already done, so I walked towards the door. 

I wrapped my hand around the doorknob, but I found myself unable to open it. I stood there for a moment and tried to clear my mind, but Rick and Michonne and Daryl and Glenn and Carol crept into my head again. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to tell myself that they were gone and that I was here now. Negan chased all those thoughts away as I felt him standing right behind me. His warm breath touching my hair. 

My hand was still on the doorknob, but it started trembling as the images of what had just happened flooded my mind; I wanted to leave and run back to my room, lock the door and eat sweet strawberry jam forever, but I wanted to stay and feel his hands on my body again. 

I took a deep breath and made my decision, and I prayed to God it had been the right one. 

 


End file.
